Has been an interesting one :)
To say the least.
It was funny in a way, it was not really only about martial arts at all.
It was about finding oneself, and overcoming boundaries, and at times it was about training for dear life, so I would not, in a fit of depression choose to end it, prematurely.
Then it was about fulfilling the rage and healing trauma and then it was about being with good men (and some women) and just knowing that you are part of a group of people, gentle as silk
and ferocious and dangerous as tigers.
My inner child felt safe, and I could slowly grow up through pain, sweat, and perseverance.
And then I would at times for various reasons (sometimes excuses) stop for a while and have to start again.
And that was fun too,
And it all changed, and people changed and everything changed and the only thing that stayed the same was some people and the willingness to get up and go and overcome all possible and impossible boundaries.
I would not say I have really achieved a goal of being a specially good fighter, not even average really (it depends where you put the average), but I have lost so many fears, felt so many feelings, and tried out and failed
and tried again at so many things,
That in itself was worth it.
And now almost 39, going on 40 I start again.
After a short hiatus, where I had more or less good excuses not to train, I finally decided to go for it again.
I have no idea where the journey will go this time, but I know how I FEEL after training and I know how I feel when I don't, and that in itself is more than enough.
The rest is just icing on the cake.
I would recommend any young or old person to try it out, especially young men, it is, if done properly, long enough, and under proper guidance, a cure for depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and much more.
Not in the sense of a magic pill, but in a sense of consistent practice, that gives you the ability to even start to look into the things you don't or won't look at, because it hurts too much.
Sometimes the greatest battles are fought inside,
But that does not mean you get to escape or avoid the daily battle of everyday life.
There is ultimately, not much, or at some level.
no real
Difference.
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